Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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