You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
