hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
