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I need help removing her.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
