Don't make out with my wife yet
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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