I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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