Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
