I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
