That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
