It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
