perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
