My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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