No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The best revenge is premature balding
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
