meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
