the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
