There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
