Me too!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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