I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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