Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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