Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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