dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
