Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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