I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
