at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
