he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
