Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i out mim tonsoeep
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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