that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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