So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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