Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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