i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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