hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
