My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
