Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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