Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
