Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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