just come out here and I will go home with you...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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