Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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