I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
