Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
