we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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