You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
