he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
