I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
