SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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