i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
