Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
