Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
