There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
