Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
