I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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