He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
