the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just pee around me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
