got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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