New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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