'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
