the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
