No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
