woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
