mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
