i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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