ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
