I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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