I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
barbara walters just said penis...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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