you mean i was at the winter classic?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize