she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
