is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
