i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wish my penis had a tongue
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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