So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
