OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
These tits shall not be calmed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
