Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
