i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You pole danced in your parka.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
