Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
