I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
