They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
