We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
