Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
